I was standing outside the commissary the other day with a bag full of snacks for our little road trip back to Ramstein. I would have walked up to the BX parking where my hubby was, but he demanded I stay there. He’s afraid of the baby coming early and didn’t want me hiking up the concrete stairs. I tried to reassure him that just walking isn’t going to break my water. Especially considering my first son was a week late.
So I sat on a bench, and then noticed the cigarette disposal beside me was smoldering and sending toxic fumes my way. Me being mildly allergic to cigarette smoke and pregnant, I moved. I ended up standing by these two ladies sitting at a picnic bench having their lunch. One of them had their pre-teen – teen daughter sitting with them. Of course being bored out of my mind, I couldn’t help but listen in. Not to mention, one of the ladies was speaking loud enough for me to hear it a mile away. She was going on and on about her diet. And just spouting off the random “healthy” habits she has to keep herself from gaining weight. She had several eating tips, but nothing in the way of exercise. Interesting, I thought. Then I realized that the teenie daughter was listening in very intently. I felt sick to my stomach. This girl was an average bodied girl. She had nothing to worry about. I don’t mean American average either. She was right in her weight zone. But there she sat, drinking it all in. It made me sick, and it reminded me, that I am about to have a baby girl. It also reminded me I need to work on myself.
I finally ended up walking up to the BX parking lot anyway since some German civilian cleaning lady decided to light up right beside me. (How rude…) I told my husband about what I had overheard. I told him, “That is one of the biggest reasons that after this baby, I want to get into shape. Not get skinny, not get thin, but fit and healthy.” I feel pretty chunky right about now. I’ve only gained about 25-27 lbs now at 34 weeks out of the 25-35 a woman like me should gain during pregnancy. Then again, I was about 10 lbs over what my ideal weight is when I’m not pregnant. My husband constantly reminds me I’m not fat. Yet of course, I’m going to feel like a blimp when I see a thin, fit girl, whether it’s on TV, or in real life.
I want to get fit, so I can change my frame of mind. So I can feel good about my body, and not pass on negative body image issues to my daughter. I want to be the best role model I can for her, since I didn’t have much of one at all. Also, because she deserves it.